Dr. H.M. Phage T.E.
"We'll have those hearts pumping healthy yellow bile again in no time!"
Other names: Highly Magnified Doctor Phage Thoroughly Educated
Bioform: Viral
Native zone: The Hospital
Residence: The Hospital
Occupation: Chief physician, radiologist, surgeon, pathologist, pathogen, immunologist, urologist, gynaecologist, reverse gynaecologist, taxidermist, dentist, forensic entomologist, necrobiological reconstructionist, herbalist, fashionist and twin-core husk intersector licensed in all chromatic, material and hypothetical perception zones
Likes: Bowties, yogurt, ducks
Blog: Twitter
Dr. H. M. Phage, T. E. is the head practitioner in the the Hospital and looks like a giant bacteriophage virus. His actual abilities as a medical practitioner when compared to his peers are unclear, but he seems to be highly knowledgeable about the different zones. Given current evidence, he might best be described as "Jack of all trades, master of none." However, not only would he strongly object to this, but it is also important to note that given the sheer number and variety of zones and patients the Hospital deals with, being a jack of all trades is rather impressive regardless of how many of said feats are actually mastered or simply passing knowledge.


Phage has a huge ego and talks at length about himself and his hobbies. He often boasts about his accomplishments and esteemed degrees he himself invented. He appears very clueless to a grey zoner, but when dealing with something he's familiar, he shows more competence. He is both pragmatic and empathetic, able to destroy patients that are a threat to the zones or can't be cured. As a virus, he can inject strands of DNA to work with and its not considered sexual. Phage has an interest in collecting bow ties and ducks. His ties come out of a tie zone located within his head and from deliveries. He also has an interest in drawing. Fern is able to trick him by placing a picture drawn by Phage on a door outside his lab, to make him think he is already hard at work. This makes more sense if we consider that "time" works very differently here and in his perception everything looks like a drawing. The Hospital looks much nicer and cleaner in his perception. He is able to see a normal sized microscopic virus but he's still tricked to mistaken a toy soldier with Fern. He is easily tricked and trapped but always finds a way out. His favorite food is yogurt and he carries an infinite amount in his inventory. This is a reference to the fact that yogurt is made with bacteria and bacteriophage literally means "bacteria eater".

Phage can often be found accompanied by Dr Mizer around the Hospital. Compared to Phage, Phleboto Mizer seems to be more rational, questioning Phage about what he's doing. This obviously annoys Phage, as he considers himself the best doctor. Phage is said to be tougher than Mizer, despite size and appearances. The relationship he has with Dr Man is unclear, as he blocks his perception of him and sees his door boarded up. Another reason for this is that Dr Man's office was taken over by the Plank Maze which makes the doctors forget about those in it. This blocking ability is also shown when he doesn't perceive Depressed Spleen. Whenever Dr Man badmouthed Phage, even privately, Phage would always know that and punish him. It is enough for Man to even mention Phage's name or vaguely writing about him in his private notes for Phage to call him for an "employee evaluation". Being asexual, Phage doesn't develop romantic feelings towards others but instead he ships other people. He also has a Twitter page , which provides additional commentary on story events and characters. There's also Phage Adivice, where he responds to Patreon supporter's questions.

Phage is regarded as Fern's antagonist, being the one who separated her from her son when they were brought in his Hospital. The one year old child is suffering from a very strong disease from the Parliament that threatens the whole zones and existence. The Parliament also corrupted the Hospital, making Phage less competent and foolish than usual, even sabotaging his coworkers.

First AppearanceEdit

Phage first started out as a classic comic character in two comics. He later appeared in a two part creepypasta, Don't Get Spooked and lately in Awful Hospital.


  • Usually, Phage has a different bowtie design in every panel.
  • His name is a shout-out to the Oz character H.M. Woggle-bug, T.E. The letters stand for "Highly Magnified" and "Thoroughly Educated".
  • The reason why a bacteriophage virus runs the Hospital is because they exclusively infect bacteria and used in early medicine. "Dr. Phage is a bacteriophage, a virus that exclusively infects bacteria. Phages were actually all that controlled bacteria before other organisms evolved their own immune systems, and they were investigated as a form of medical treatment before antibiotics caught on. They are in essence the earliest primordial "medicine" on our planet!".
  • When Awful Hospital is accessed from the Bogleech site by pressing its button icon, there's a brief moment when the index page shows Phage's eyes in the darkness.
  • An early design of Phage's office was scrapped that included numerous easter eggs, such as a picture of Doctor Loboto from Psychonauts, a picture of the Convulsing Nurse, a GERMS! illustration, an octickle, a Magboil in a jar, a Bleater in a jar and Chainsaw Kid's mask.
  • Phage's original design went trough many changes. At first his capsid ("head") was purple before becoming more pink. The "legs" (tails) were thicker, more robotic and six in number before being four. Now he doesn't always have a rigid shape and articulated "legs", sometimes looking more squishy with a rounder capsid and wiggly neck and "legs".
  • According to Crash, that isn't Phage's natural hair color.
  • During the loading of an Awful Hospital page Phage's swirly glasses can be briefly seen.
  • There are no eyes behind his glasses. The glasses may or may not be his eyes.
  • According to a Tumblr post, "He is capable of adapting to any form of medical work! He might even take different physical forms for them, we haven’t seen that happen yet but he probably has like, power-up Dental and Psychiatric modes and stuff."


Some have speculated that Phage has a crush on C. Tori based on his opinion of her (Spooked).  This is later proved false, as Phage only likes shipping others and never himself.