Ramblin' Evil Colorectal Polyp
Other names: Polyp, RECP, Sample H00129
Bioform: Colorectal polyp
Native zone: N/A
Residence: The Hospital, tote bag
Occupation: Malady, pet/companion
Likes: Colons, intestines
Dislikes: Lexis
Blog: Bestiary
A walking colorectal polyp, friend with Kidney Stone.


A soft polyp with legs, surprisingly nimble, easily dodging attacks. The legs are filled with coils of functional muscular tissue, giving him his high agility. Numerous smaller retention cysts, tubular mucus glands and hollow sacs of unknown function populate the interior. His senses are seemingly tied to his upper globulation, which include sight, smell, taste, hearing, fazzing and schumpuling. He also has a super sense of being aware of the condition of human colonary tracts, being able to determine the precise coordinates, age, sex, health and even past medical history of all living colonary tracts on a spherical radius of ██ km. This ability is called "telecolonalysis" and is used in combat to assess the strengths, weaknesses, and motivations of others at a downright psychic level.

The polyp can reproduce by entering the colon of a human, leaving behind hundreds of smaller replicas. These juvenile forms possess a rudimentary consciousness and need time to develop. Bases on their repeated snippets, they have the memory of the original polyp or at least a fragment of it. The original polyp is also capable of instantaneously jump between hosts when traveling through their intestines. His explanation is: "yer plumbing's all connected on one zone or another. You should try it sometime, sure beats walkin' everywhere!"

When first encountered by Fern in Awful Hospital, she sends her Kidney Stone companion to fight the polyp, momentarily changing to a Pokemon style battle interface. As it turns out, the fight wasn't a real fight, the two were only playing. After becoming friends, they both return in Fern's tote bag.

Anyone without a colon or an opinion about colons is considered a creepazoid by the polyp because he doesn't "get them". The Kidney Stone does know a thing or two about crawling in orifices, so he "gets her".

He had a romantic interest in Gassandra but the patient number she gave him turned out to be the wrong one, 123 being the number for the Open Wound's Surgery Ward room.

First AppearanceEdit

First encountered in the Awful Hospital comic by Fern in a creepy hallway from the Hospital.


  • He is level 25, same as his pissrock friend.
  • The word "Evil" is just part of his full name, not necessary making him evil.
  • The PPP Association classifies him as threat category Aquamarine.
  • Genetic analysis shows he has human DNA, probably from the host he was "born" from.
  • Fazzing is a reference to the faz sense of the Thranx from GURPS, which is the detection of air currents.
  • He only dignifies himself to enter one type of hole and it's obvious which kind!
  • He is based on the Ramblin' Evil Mushroom from the videogame EarthBound
  • He used to own a pair of glasses but threw them in the trash. He regretted doing that when he read 7 instead of 3.